I need to get serious about my life.  I mean, here I am, pushing 50 years old.  I need to act my age.  Straighten up and be respectable.  Stop making stupid, embarrassing comments on Facebook.  Start using my blog to address real issues, things that really matter to people.  I need to start using words like euphemism, and ethical, and…other words.

I told Renata I was going to get serious about life.  She smiled, said “Sure,” then turned on her heel, asking, “have you seen my keys?” I don’t think she understood I mean it.

Logan at the Taco Shop knows.  I went by a few months ago wearing my  “Thank God for Football, Women and Beer” t-shirt.  “Nice shirt for a priest, Howie.  Geez, it’s no wonder you can’t find a job.”  (He remembers hiring me to work off-the-books once for a few days, when things were a bit slow for me in the ministry area. I took a bunch of stuff to the dump for him.)

Speaking of clothes, mine could use some updating.  I could at least move up from jeans to Dockers or something.  Look a little more serious, like a real Reverend.  Start wearing my dog-collar.  Clothes that fit my station in life.  Maybe that upper-crust English fellow priest-in-training twelve years ago was on to something.  But really, what’s so wrong with a Superman t-shirt?   She should talk; driving a dorky British Racing Green Jaguar.

I need to get rid of my zits, too.  Or rather, “address the acne issue”.  If that wasn’t the biggest lie I ever bought!  “All gone by the time you’re 18.”  Sure.  In any case, a pimple on the end of ones nose can, I have found, stand in the way of being taken seriously.

What about my title?  A former colleague always went by “Revd. Prof. Dr.” when the rest of us agreed to just first and last names on our cards.  It definitely influenced what we thought of her.

Imagine!  A clear faced, long-term employed, Revd. Howard K. Adan, wearing nicely pressed Dockers and dog-collared shirt, shined shoes, matching blazer, writing serious sermons and blogs and Facebook posts.

I’m sure I would feel much more successful.

5 thoughts on “Seriously

  1. Now where you gonna find a new highfalutin wife to go with your new successful image and all??

  2. Sure you might feel more successful, but would you have more fun?
    And honestly who cares about clothes and acne, what’s important is on the inside, come on now! The world is serious enough as it is, nobody likes to hangout with serious people. Just be who you are because I like you that way 🙂

  3. I’ve heard that there are some people of a certain age who try to cultivate the acne, make them look youthful again. It’s probably just a rumour. And anyway you don’t need to look youthful for people to take you as seriously as you deserve.

  4. Oh God, I hope you don’t! Or at least be interesting – and consistant in a way – and wear robes all the time. They are just men’s atire, as I understand it. 11th century men’s atire, but what’s a millenium or two between friends ? (50, huh? That’s kinda cool….)

    Here’s a thought….if you look the part, are you counting on people thinking you’re the man with the answers?

  5. I certainly hope the present employment is long term. I notice you have the Dockers and the dog-collared shirt. Please skip the shining shoes, matching blazer and writing serios sermons. But please keep the blogs, Facebook posts and the sense of humour!!! Ann

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